Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
