Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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