I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
