Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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