Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
