piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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