I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you had me at cake vodka
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
