Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
