just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
