4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize