Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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