so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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