i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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