It's like God shit irony all over that family
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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