She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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