happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
where are my eyebrows?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
