She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
