That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
