We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
