winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
