he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize