Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
