hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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