Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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