I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
