So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
