at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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