He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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