I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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