I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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