I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
