you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
