Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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