so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
