It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
