Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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