I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
