Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
