what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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