im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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