I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
