Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
