How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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