You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
