Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
