grandma shit on top of the toilet
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
