We're facebook friends in real life
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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