Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
