it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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