also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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