well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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