We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
