Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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