But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize