Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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