he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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