perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
