The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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