So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize