as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
