No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize