No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
