Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
