TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
