I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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