Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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