i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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