Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
