all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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