He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
