I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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