I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
