And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
