so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
