Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
