READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
