I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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