Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you would pick up someone in the library
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
