does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
