We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize