i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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