Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
