Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize