then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
