Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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