She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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